Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
