I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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