i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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