these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
