My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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