Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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