I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
