how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
