You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
