can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
