Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
