are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
