this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
