moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
