so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
