You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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