You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
