I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
