I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize