we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize