No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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