He is an equal opportunity slut.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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