His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Found the puke drawer
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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