is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
