Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize