i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
