so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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