What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
