just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize