So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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