So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
