you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
