hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who died my cat blue again?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
