Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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