I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
