How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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