Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
