i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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