me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize