Acid is not a monday night drug
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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