I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
