you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
