his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
