I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
