ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just gift wrapped bread.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
