toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
