so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
