Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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