I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
