4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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