Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
