he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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