i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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