Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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