i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize