dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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