It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
