JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
