How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
