I CAN MOONWALK!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she told me i tasted like america
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
