so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
