he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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